Why I Make the Choices I Am Making

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Mary Jane’s letter in the summer 2008 issue of Mary Jane’s Farm fits nicely with some things I have been pondering. My thoughts have to do with why I take part in things like the Independence Days Challenge or One Local Summer.  They have to do with why I grow my own garden, use canvas shopping bags, engage in community service, sometimes pay more for local and organic products, and host of other daily actions and choices.

As much as these thoughts are about what I do they are also about what I don’t do.  For example, I don’t join in the debates about Peak Oil and/or Climate Warming though I use those debates to make wiser choices. You see it doesn’t matter to me who is right and who is wrong about if/when peak oil has/will be reached.  The fact is that consuming less is the responsible thing to do for the plant, for future generations, and for those is less technologically developed countries that have paid more than their fair share for the lifestyle we in the United States and other most industrialized countries have enjoyed.

I don’t debate the cause of climate changes and whether it is caused by man or if they are part of some natural cycle. Whatever the cause the effects are real.  I write this from motel room where I am deployed on a flood relief operation and as those of us deployed here talk among ourselves it is clear that we all expect the calls to serve to come more and more frequently as the weather becomes more extreme and the population builds more and more often on marginal lands.  Whatever the cause, species are disappearing and the ranges of others are shifting.

Do I think that canvas shopping bags, growing my own food, and supporting local economies will save the world?  Not necessarily but if enough of us start doing little things, I think we can make a difference. Our combined little acts have a better chance of making a difference than doing nothing does.  Will standing against hate and intolerance make it disappear? A world without hate is a pretty big order but challenging intolerance can some times help those around think more openly.

Of course  it would be easier to ignore those things that seem too big and too hard to change.  So why do I keep doing the little things I can? In the words of Mary Jane quoting an activist on a panel sponsored by Physicians for Social Responsibility, “I work on these issues because if the bombs go off, I want to be able to . . . say, I did everything I could.”

Using f “bombs going off” in a general way to encompass climate change, economic collapse and a host of other catastrophes, I do what I can in an attempt to be a part of the solution and not simply a part of the problem.  Still the problem seems daunting and my actions are not nearly all they should be; there are things I relish that I don’t NEED — coffee and hot showers to name a couple.

Mary Jane goes on to offer words of comfort and encourage to those of us making changes, challenging beliefs, finding ourselves on the receiving end of skeptical comments and looks, and chastising ourselves for not doing more. She says:

“For those of us who want the world to be a better place, we mustn’t be too hard on ourselves about whether or not we can accomplish what we set out to do.  We shouldn’t let that deter us.  On a grand scale, that seems mostly out of our hands.  But showing up isn’t, and daring to care isn’t.” (emphasis mine)

So I’ll keep dreaming of my big chosen family living on a homestead that is nearly self sufficient in a world where skin color, sex, relgious or sexual preferences, body shape, and social class matter far less.  I’ll also keep enriching my solo, duplex-living, container gardening life in a imperfect world in all the little ways I can by doing the things in which I believe so that if nothing else I can look in the mirror and say that I showed up, I tried, and I cared.

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